The Great Hairbow Debate

I have a a little girl, and I put hairbows in her hair. And I dress her in girly clothes of varying shades of pink. Her room and most of her belongings are decidedly girly, and I pretty much see nothing wrong with this.

Society today is obsessed with gender. Remember the firestorm when Jenna Lyons, the creative director for Jcrew, said that she paints her son’s toenails hot pink because it’s his favorite color?

The other day we were out with friends, and Wife commented that our little girl looked cute in her hairbow. Husband followed up by saying, “Yes, now that you live in Texas you have to put a bow in her hair so everyone will know she is a girl.” I inwardly groaned and said, “It has nothing to do with Texas, I like them.” NOTE: all hairbows were purchased in PA before the move, so she wasn’t even wearing a massive TX bow.

This couple has a little girl, and I realized that every time I see her she’s not necessarily dressed in girly clothes. Wife has repeatedly made comments that she likes to dress her in “tomboy clothes.”

I see nothing wrong with this. If you don’t want the outfit of your little one to scream “girl” everywhere you go that’s totally fine, but it’s also a choice you’re making for your child to dress them in that way. It’s not like you’re not giving them a gender identity because you aren’t putting them in a pink hairbow every day.

This is what parents do. They make decisions for their child until the child is able to make them for themselves. If one day my little girl said “mommy I don’t like wearing hairbows” then I would not force her to wear them. Couple is dressing their daughter in “tomboy” clothes because they like how it looks. I am dressing my daughter in “girly” clothes because I like the way that looks. What’s the difference?


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